DAD'S ILLNESS
My father had not been well all week and I could see, although my mother never said anything, that she was very worried. I took to following him around the farm, much to his annoyance, but he looked grey and I felt very frightened by it.
A couple of nights later I was woken by my mother shouting and on running into their bedroom, the sight stopped me dead in my tracks. There was blood everywhere and my mother was trying to sit my father up in bed. On seeing me my mum shouted for me to telephone a doctor. I do not think she even realised the nearest phone was over two miles away and it was pitch dark. 'Go', she shouted, 'don't just stand there.' I ran downstairs, threw a coat on and went out into the dark, running to Mrs Evans, the Post. This was a good two miles and I had to knock her up. I ran down that mountain crying and praying at the same time. Please God don't let my dad die was all I thought of. Getting to the post office , that also served as the local shop, I hammered on the door finally waking not only Mrs Evans but the other few houses as well. Out of breath I told her what I'd seen in the bedroom and my mum wanted a doctor, crying in between words as I told her. She rang for a doctor and said we would wait outside to show him the way. We did not wait long and soon I was on my way back to the farm in the doctor's car.
It appeared that dad had a burst ulcer in his tummy and would be going to hospital. That night when the ambulance came and took my father, my world lay in pieces at my feet. Would he ever come home I wondered.
Mum was very strong for us all, but she had been crying as her face was all puffy. She went every day to the hospital, leaving us alone up on the farm.
We all had to work to cover farm jobs like milking etc. We were not going to let dad down, so all hands to the wheel.
It was three long weeks before mum told us that dad was a lot better and Mr Evans was bringing him home next day. That day seemed like a week as we waited for the car bringing dad home. At long last it came down the track and came to a stop. My father got out of the car, with a walking stick, looking very thin and very poorly. His hair had turned white in hospital, or a greyish colour and he was very pale. I have never felt so full of love for him, as I did in that minute, watching him struggle to walk into the kitchen. My mum made a pot of tea before Mr Evans went and I heard Mr Evans say to my father, 'don't forget Bill, what the doctor said.'
Later that night I lay in bed trying to hear what my parents were talking about. 'Sell up', my mother said, 'let's go somewhere where it is not so hard to survive.' Surely they didn't mean the farm. They couldn't do that could they. The though of leaving here was too bad to think about but the next morning, at breakfast, that is just what they meant as my father said he was putting the farm on the market. The rest of my siblings were happy but I shouted 'You can't dad.' He looked at me very sadly and said, 'yes love, we must, the farm is too hard for me now, the ground too steep.
We must go much lower down.' I cried and sobbed for days at the thought of leaving and everytime anyone came to look at the place I prayed they would not like it.They did not see it through my eyes because to me it was a paradise. But then someone did because a few days later dad said he had a deal. Devastated was not the right word for how I felt. Mum tried hard to talk to me about leaving the place but it all fell on deaf ears. How could they go? I kept asking myself. How could they leave? But we were going to leave my world on top of the mountain.
i felt like i was losing all reasons for living , how could my parents do this , leave the only place that was home , nothing either my mother or father said made any difference to how i felt and all the crying didtn help them change there minds why couldtn they feel like i did i kept asking my self but changes were going to be made and as my mother told me youd better get use to it my girl , every hole in that old yard took on a new meaning as they were imprinted in my mind i knew id never forget my old home ,never forget the happy times id enjoyed there my siblings were all excited but theyd never loved the old home stead like i did , and still do love it fifty years on in my life
